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As International Overdose Awareness Day gets closer, I’ve been thinking less and less about numbers and more about names.

Because addiction has a way of turning people into statistics after they’re gone.

Another overdose. Another death. Another number added to a total that has gotten too large most of us can’t really comprehend it anymore.

But nobody who does from an overdose was ever just a number. They were somebody’s son. Somebody’s daughter. Somebody’s brother, sister, parent, best friend, first love, coworker, neighbor.

They had inside jokes. Favorite songs. Bad habits. Plans they never got around to. People they irritated. People who would give almost anything to hear their voice one more time.

And somewhere along the way, addiction became part of their story.

Sometimes it became the last part.

That is what I think we lose when we talk about addiction only in statistics.

We forget the person.

Addiction Doesn’t Always Look LIke What You Think

There is still an image people have in their heads when they hear the word addict. They picture someone who has lost everything. Someone homeless. Someone stealing. Someone who looks sick enough that addiction can be spotted from across the room. Sometimes addiction looks exactly like that. Sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes the person struggling with addiction gets up every morning and goes to work. They answer texts. They pay bills. They laugh at dinner. They tell everyone they’re doing fine. And they spend the rest of the day fighting something nobody around them knows exists.

That’s one of the reasons addiction can be so dangerous. A person doesn’t have to look like they’re dying to be in danger.

“Why Don’t They Just Stop”

People who have never experienced addiction sometimes ask a question that seems completely reasonable: If it’s destroying your life, why don’t you just stop? I understand why people ask it. From the outside addiction can look like someone repeatedly choosing the thing that is hurting them. From the inside, it doesn’t feel nearly that simple. Eventually the drug isn’t only about getting high. It becomes relief. Escape. Routine. Comfort. Punishment .Something to celebrate with. Something to grieve with. Something to use when you’re lonely, angry, bored, ashamed, exhausted, or convinced you deserve to destroy yourself. And eventually addiction can become a voice that knows exactly what to say because it has been listening to you the entire time.

That’s actually part of what i explore in my writing.

In Borrowed Fire, addiction is tangled together with creativity, ambition, self-destruction, and the dangerous idea that maybe the thing killing you is also giving you something you couldn’t find without it.

In Passenger Seat, I take that idea even further by giving addiction a personality. A friend. Someone sitting beside you saying exactly what you need to hear. Because addiction rarely introduces itself by saying: “I’m going to destroy your life.” It usually sounds more like: “I can make this easier.” And sometimes that’s all it takes.

Overdose Awareness Isn’t Only About Death

This is the part I think deserves more attention. Overdose awareness isn’t only about remembering the people who died. It is also about the people who survived. The person who overdosed and woke up. The person who relapsed after years of sobriety. The person quietly wondering whether they’ve gone too far to come back. The mother who still checks whether her child is still breathing. The friend carrying naloxone because they know they might need it. The family learning that loving someone does not automatically give you the power to save them. And the person sitting somewhere right now thinking: I should probably stop. Maybe they haven’t lost their job. Maybe their family doesn’t know. Maybe everything still looks normal. That doesn’t mean they have to wait until everything collapses before asking for help. You do no have to reach the worst possible version of your life before deciding you want another one. YOU ARE WORTH IT!

Remeber The Person Before The Addiction

On August 31, people around the world will recognize International Overdose Awareness Day. There will be purple ribbons. Candles. Pictures. Names read aloud. Stories shared by families who would rather have the person standing beside them than their photograph sitting on a table. Those things matter. But I hope we remember something after August 31, too. When someone is struggling with addiction, try to remember who existed before the addiction became the loudest thing about them.

And when someone dies from an overdose, don’t let the manner of their death erase the rest of their life.

Tell people what made them funny. Tell people what they loved. Tell people about the ridiculous thing they always did. Tell people about the time they showed up when nobody else did. Say their name.

Because addiction may have been part of their story. It should never be allowed to become the entire story.

And for those who are still here: Your story isn’t finished yet.

In Memory Of Those I’ve Lost to Addiction and Overdose:

• Seth Cole
• Brian Wilson
• Katie McCALL
• Scott Neighbors
• John McCardle
• Heather Hardison
• Roger Harper
• Jennifer Volz
• Lori Duncan
• Danielle Floyd
• Jutt
• And so many more I wish i could remember them all to honor

You were more than the way you died. You were loved, you mattered, and you are remembered

Not every name on this list died from an overdose. But they all had addiction as part of their stories and i listed them anyways to honor them.